


Pringle Hunting

by hell0donnie



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Grocery Shopping, Polyamory, polybusters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 06:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8045431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hell0donnie/pseuds/hell0donnie
Summary: The team go grocery shopping late at night, but it's not so simple when you're used to running into trouble.





	Pringle Hunting

**Author's Note:**

> Another special thanks to my super talented girlfriend (nuclear-over-reaction on Tumblr) for editing this fic.  
> My Tumblr is hell0donnie, if you have any fic suggestions or just want a chat.

“No. Nope. Nonono. _No way_.” This was not the first outburst they’d heard coming from the second floor of the firehouse. Most of these, however, were followed by a faint burning smell.

 

Abby sighed, “What is it now, Holtzy?” 

 

“We don’t have anymore!”

 

“Anymore wha- _Jesus Christ!_ ” This particular outburst came from Abby, who had turned around to find Holtzmann’s upper-torso hanging out of the fireman’s hole in the floor above her.

 

“As flattered as I am, we both know that’s not my name.” Holtzmann replied. Her demeanor changed soon after as she remembered what her original problem had been.

“We’re out of Pringles!” cried the upside down flop of blonde curls, bobbing from side to side erratically.

 

“Oh, just add it to the list.” Abby replied turning back to her work. Suddenly, she heard a crash. She closed her eyes in exasperation.

 

“But I need them now!” Holtzmann exclaimed from her new vantage point as a crumpled heap by Abby’s desk. Abby looked down at the distressed engineer sprawled out on the floor.

Holtzmann struck a casual pose as she grinned up at the other scientist.

 

“Sup.”

 

“Feel free to go get them, hon.” Abby replied, attempting to ignore her. All of a sudden, she felt Holtzmann grasp her legs like a toddler.

 

“As much as I am a creature of it…New York at night _scares_ me.”

She sounded genuinely afraid. “Please, Abby, come with me.”

 

“A creature of New York?”

 

“Please, please!” Holtzmann wailed dramatically.

 

“Or a creature of the night…?”

 

At that, Erin and Patty entered the room, carrying research books for their latest haunting complaints.

 

“Guys, guys! Come with me to get Pringles!” She scrambled up to meet them, putting her chin on top of the pile of books Erin had just put down, “and convince Abby to come too!”

 

“It’s 11 at night.” Erin said, fishing one of the books out from under Holtz’s pouting face, letting it thump lightly to the next one down.

 

“Midnight shawpping!” Patty whooped.

 

“Going out? At 11pm? You must be joking.”

 

“Erin, baby, who hurt you?” Patty asked.

 

“Look, we have other stuff to get as well!” Holtzmann slapped a list on the table that had clearly been sitting there idly for a number of days. “It’ll be just a little shopping trip _and_ we happen to be doing chores.” She pointed at Erin, who frowned.

 

“I mean…we do have stuff to get, Abs.” Patty reasoned.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh, come on, I have been _trying_ to finish this _all day_.” Abby argued.

 

“It’ll give you a break and we can get you some snacks, baby.” Patty had crossed over to place her hands on Abby’s back, leading her to the door.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I guess I could pick up some more paper towels…” Erin mused.

 

“Y _eeesss_.”

 

“Then it’s settled, three against one.” Patty decided.

 

She led both Abby and Erin out the door as Holtz followed them, arms thrown in the air as she belted a final, triumphant, “ _YES!_ ”

 

* * *

 

It didn’t take them too long to reach the supermarket, mostly thanks to Holtzmann’s erratic driving (“Holtz, do you even have a license?” Erin asked one day, regretting the question immediately. “A what?”).

 

“What else do we need?” Erin asked, picking up a basket.

 

“Uh, toothpaste, toilet paper, soa-” Patty was abruptly interrupted by a shopping cart whizzing towards them. Of course, Holtzmann was standing on the back of it, holding up a two-fingered salute.

 

“ _Ladiiiesss_.” She flirtatiously addressed them as she zipped past.

 

“Oh my- Holtzmann, _come on_!” Abby yelled as she stomped off to go retrieve the engineer.

 

“Well, I guess it’s just us doing the _actual_ shopping.” Patty stated, rolling her eyes.

 

Erin gave her a nudge, “We can have our own fun, Pats.”

 

The taller woman couldn’t help but break out into a smile at her well-meaning girlfriend. Erin wasn’t the most adventurous, but she could be entertaining and was surprisingly good fun. Especially for someone who wore beige suits.

 

* * *

 

“ _Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray, South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio!_ ” Holtzmann sang as she flew through the supermarket. _“Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn M-ooo-n-roe_.” She continued as she slowed to a stop beside the snack aisle.

 

At this point, it wasn’t so difficult for Abby to catch up with her; she just listened for the… less than tuneful singing.

 

“God damn it, Holtz. We’ve been here not two minutes and you want to get us kicked out.” She muttered as she saw the woman in question. “Please stop riding round on that thing?” Abby pointed at the shopping cart, “and, for God’s sake, please stop the singing!”

 

“Only if you can finish the song,” Holtz took a massive breath, _“Rosenberg’s, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom, Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The R-yyy-e…”_ she held out an invisible microphone for Abby to continue.

 

“Holtz, I don’t even know the words…” she tried to counter and then sighed, resigned to her fate. _“Eisenhower, Vaccine, something something England’s Queen, Marshmallow, Liberace, blah-blah-blah goodbye.”_ She mumbled out the lyrics, or what she could remember of them, as quickly as possible.

 

“Close enough- _WE DIDN’T START THE F-IIY-AH_!” Holtz belted.

 

Abby clamped a hand over Holtzmann’s mouth. “You promised.” She started to drag her away.

 

“Wafsdfh!” came the muffled cry and Abby let up a little. “Wait! Wait! I need the Pringles!” Holtzmann had managed to scramble out of the other woman’s grip.

 

“Fine, but then we’re finding the others.” Abby folded her arms and waited.

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other wa-” Before Holtzmann could finish her sentence there came a crash. She had walked backwards right into a Pringles display and knocked over everything. “Ruh-roh.”

 

“Why must you be like this?” Abby put her face in her hands and sighed.

 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I can fix this.” Holtz dove right into the shopping cart with a carton of Pringles in her hand.

 

“What are you doing?” Abby settled her arms on the shopping cart’s handles and peered into it.

 

“Looking for something…”

 

“There’s nothing else in there!” She was starting to get annoyed as well as confused when a security guard came round the corner to check what the ruckus was about.

 

“ _Hey!_ ” He yelled, looking at the scene in front of him. A toppled over Pringles display, Holtz sitting in the shopping cart and Abby with her hands on the handles.

 

“Oh, good, yep, this is exactly what I need on a Wednesday at 11:30pm.”

 

_“Run, Abby. Ruuuuun!”_

 

“What?” Before Abby had even responded to Holtzmann’s yell, the security guard charged at them.

 

Later, Abby would say that what she did was merely a reaction to the 6ft wall of man-muscle running right at her. Definitely _not_ Holtzmann’s command at all.

 

They fled.

 

* * *

 

“Can’t we just get a different brand of toothpaste?” Erin stared at their usual one that happened to be placed atop the highest shelf ever built.

 

“ _Nu-uh_ , Patty doesn’t change her brand of any essential product unless she’s seen at least three reviews about a better one. Plus, you know Holtzmann has real sensitive teeth. She needs her special type.” Patty pondered for a second. “And Abby finds most toothpaste too ‘spicy.’ She needs at least three weeks to get used to a new one. I swear, you white people.”

 

“God, you guys call _me_ uptight.” Erin muttered. “Well, at least help me reach it.”

 

What she didn’t expect in that moment, however, was for Patty to hoist her up by her armpits. Apart from the fact that Erin still couldn’t reach the toothpaste, it was just generally rather painful for her.

 

Erin made a very uncomfortable noise and then shrieked, “Put me down! Put me down!”

 

Patty lowered her, “Jeez, alright. Alright, calm it, Kelly Clarkson.”

 

“Sorry, it’s just,” Erin straightened out her shirt, “that was _very_ uncomfortable.”

 

“How you wanna do it, then?”

 

* * *

 

“Damn girl, you think what you went through was uncomfortable?” Patty exclaimed.

 

“I can get down, if you want?” Erin said from her lofty position on top of Patty’s shoulders, trying to reach for the toothpaste.

 

“Nah, nah, you good.” Maybe. It really would depend just how much more Patty’s shoulders could take.

 

Her hand skimmed the side of the toothpaste ever so slightly, “Oh, oh, nearly got it.” Erin gritted out, trying so hard to just stretch that extra inch.

 

She jerked forward and caught it. Unfortunately, Patty didn’t have as much luck, not expecting the abrupt movement. Erin’s body spun around quickly and dropped. Thankfully, Patty was faster. She caught the falling woman in her arms.

 

“Well hello there, cutie.” Patty said with a wink.

 

Erin immediately blushed, “Heeey.” She just about uttered with a giggle.

 

“Say, do you have a… suitor, by chance? ‘Cos if not, I think I could be of service.”

 

“Well, as it happens, I do.”

 

“Damn.”

 

“Two, in fact.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“And…they like to share.” Erin spoke with an uncharacteristic flirtatiousness. Patty smirked and leant down.

 

All of a sudden, Abby came crashing over to them, pushing the shopping cart. Holtzmann was seated in the cart, looking somewhat alarmed, which- knowing her- was a bad sign.

 

“ _No kiss. More run._ ” Abby panted at them. Without even bothering to put Erin down, Patty took off sprinting alongside the shopping cart.

 

“Havin’ a good time, Er-bear?” Holtzmann asked far too casually.

 

“I was…” She replied, clearly disappointed that they had interrupted.

 

“You two can pick up with the smoochin’ later. Hey, maybe even Abby and I can get in on it too!” Holtzmann tipped her head backwards and looked at Abby upside down expectantly when she uttered the last part.

 

“Yeah, you wish.” Abby grumbled, still aggravated.

 

“She’ll get over it.” Holtzmann stage-whispered to Erin, who just threw her a look.

 

* * *

 

“Did you know this isn’t the first time Abby and I have hidden in a supermarket fruit section?” Holtzmann announced, beaming at Abby. When she only glared back at the engineer, she added, “ _Buuut_ it will be the last.”

 

“Well look, y’all need to work out your personal crap later. Right now we gotta get outta here.” Patty hissed.

 

“We still need to pay for this shopping. I spent too much time and energy trying to get that toothpaste and dammit if I’m gonna let it go.” Erin ranted, a little out of breath by the end of it. Patty placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

“This guy doesn’t actually know that you guys are with us,” Abby pointed at Patty and Erin. “I say that Erin goes to pay for the shopping, Patty distracts the security guard, and then I sneak out with Holtz somehow.”

 

“See? Ya still love me.” Holtzmann proclaimed. “Ow! Abb _yyy_.” She rubbed her shoulder where a carrot had just hit it.

 

“Yeah, _my bad_.” Though Abby didn’t seem at all sorry about the action.

 

“Alright, let’s go.” Patty declared, shuffling along the vegetable aisle on the balls of her feet.

 

“Hey! Wait! I want to switch.” Erin called out and they all turned to her.

 

“You wanna what now?” Asked Patty incredulously.

 

“I want to be the distraction.”

 

The other three Ghostbusters had to stop themselves from bursting out with laughter. Erin frowned at them.

 

“Sorry, Er, it’s just…” Abby started. “It’s just, well…”

 

“It’s just you couldn’t distract Kevin with a biscuit.” Holtzmann finished.

 

“Oh wow, thanks _sooo_ much for your confidence guys.” Erin replied, folding her arms and pouting.

 

“Come on, baby, don’t be like that. You’re plenty good at other things.” Patty offered. “Like…like…wearing…sweaters…and stuff.” Patty concluded unconvincingly. “Damn y’all, how could I only think of sweaters?”

 

“And making apple juice.” Holtzmann added.

 

“I don’t make it, Holtzmann, I just pour it out and bring it to you.”

 

“Yeah, but…” The blonde scratched her head. “You do it so well.” She grinned, genuinely thinking she had made a difference.

 

“I’m serious, you guys. Let me do it. I can distract him.” She looked so hopeful that the others just couldn’t help themselves.

 

“Alright, kid, you’re up.” Abby conceded.

 

“See? I distracted you from whatever problem you had with Holtzy.” Erin stated, decidedly smug.

 

“Thanks for that.” Replied Holtzmann, as a cherry bounced off her temple.

 

* * *

 

“Wow, that’s so cool. So, like, do you work out?” Erin had intercepted the security guard as planned. She reached for his arm, but then thought better of it, so her hand was limply trying to play off the movement in mid-air.

 

“Do you think she knows what she looks like?” Patty whispered to Abby. They stood ready to leap at the self-checkout till as soon as the security guard wasn’t facing it. Unfortunately, Erin hadn’t managed to get to that part of the plan just yet…she hadn’t managed to get to any part of it, really.

 

“It hurts me to know that she honestly does not.”

 

“I think she looks kinda cute.” Holtzmann supplied. Abby just shoved her hand in Holtzmann’s face.

 

The security guard just grunted at her. It wasn’t a very non-committal response and Erin wasn’t sure what it meant.

 

“Well, I think you look really… great.” Erin was realising quickly that she wasn’t very good at faking attraction. She wasn’t that good at hiding when she was attracted to someone either. All in all, her acting just wasn’t very good.

 

“This is a damn train crash, y’all. I’m goin’ in.” Patty started, but Holtzmann held her back.

 

“No, no, just…just let her do this.” It was one of those very rare occasions where Holtzmann was genuinely serious about something. So they waited.

 

“Um, could you- could you help me find something?” Erin decided to try a different route.

 

“Ma’am, I’m not an employee, I don’t know where everything is.” The security guard answered.

 

“Oh come on, I really need your help with this.” It might have been the fact that she wasn’t technically lying. Or maybe her acting skills were shining through (Erin would like to believe that). Either way he decided to help her.

 

“What is it you’re looking for?” He sighed.

 

“The toothpaste section.” The security guard turned around and pointed.

 

“This is the only chance we’re gonna get.” Abby announced running over to the self-checkout. She frantically tried to scan as much as she could as quickly as possible and the others ran over to help.

 

Unfortunately, at that very moment the horrifying sound of ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ rang out throughout the supermarket at an alarmingly loud volume.

 

“It is in the bagging area!” All three women cried. The security turned around and began to yell unintelligible things at them.

 

Luckily, the machine started working and Abby paid at lightning speed. Holtzmann jumped in the shopping cart and yanked up all the bags of shopping.

 

“ _Step on it!_ ” She yelled. Patty and Abby both took the handles of the shopping cart and began running towards the exit, indicating at Erin to follow them.

 

Just as they had got out of the front Erin reached them, the security guard not far behind her. In a flash, an idea came to her and she stuck a ‘Warning: Wet Floor’ sign between the sliding doors. They slammed together, then opened and closed, open and closed, open and closed, evidently messing up the mechanism. The security guard hadn’t reached them in time and he slowed to a halt in front of the doors.

 

He just looked on helplessly as Holtzmann turned around in the shopping cart, give him a two-fingered salute and chomped happy on a handful of Pringles.


End file.
